Thriving as a Parent
I am working on appreciating the craziness that is my life (after all, I wouldn’t want it any other way) and the amazing family that God has blessed and entrusted me with. My desire is to get to a place where thankfulness overflows and selfishness disappears. By His grace, I’m moving in that direction.
Eight years ago I was about 11 weeks pregnant with Elijah. At that time I never would have imagined that I would have 4 amazing little men that call me Mommy! But here I am, and I feel so blessed to have 4 healthy and growing sons. Sometimes – more often than not, I’m afraid – I take them for granted. And I take my role as their mother for granted, too.
I used to talk about how I don’t want to simply survive, I want to thrive. I think that in many ways I have only been surviving as a parent in the recent past. (I know, I know, I have young twins! But that is a poor excuse for being a pathetic mother for the last 2+ years.) There is so much responsibility that comes with parenting. And it seems that as they get older I realize that there are more and more layers of responsibility that come.
My boys need me. They need a mom who they know will be there for them, no matter what they do. A mom that isn’t going to yell at them when they make a decision that was not the wisest one. A mom they know will love them no matter what. A mom that they never need to ask, ‘Do you like me?’, because they know by the way they are treated and the things that I say that I love them more than I ever imagined possible.
They need me to teach them. Teach them how to love. Teach them how to be gracious. Teach them how to interact respectfully with adults. Teach them how to interact appropriately with kids. Teach them how to handle conflict. Teach them how to express their emotions. I need to teach them how to be like Christ.
I feel so unworthy of this high calling. So ill-prepared. So tired. So selfish.
Oh that I would be the mom I long to be, the mom my sweet sons deserve.
Forgive me, Lord, in all my doings.